Most of us make some sort of New Year’s resolution, whether overtly or covertly. The new year can feel like an opportunity to put the past behind us and to start afresh.Whether or not we actively name and own our New Year’s resolutions, most of us can also attest to the best held intentions for … [Read more...]
New Year’s resolutions
In my last blog I wrote about goals for change and linking these to our values. When someone decides to come into therapy it is often because they would like to make changes and it can help to set goals as a means of knowing when these changes have been achieved.Given this is a time of year when … [Read more...]
Twixtmas – surviving that dreaded time between Christmas and New Year
Twixtmas, that time between Christmas and New Year seems to be a particularly difficult time for many. Why is this?The build up to Christmas and the accompanying excitement for some, and anxiety for many, can leave us feeling depleted and down in the immediate aftermath of the big … [Read more...]
How to minimise Christmas stress if you’re hosting
Christmas can be an emotionally challenging and difficult time for many of us. There is such expectation on how Christmas ‘should’ be, yet like the weather, it often fails to deliver on the ‘winter wonderland’ scenes on the TV adverts. For so many of us our family experience often falls far short of … [Read more...]
Surviving family festivities: a psychoanalytic journey through the twelve days of Christmas
As the holiday season descends upon us like a glittering, tinsel-laden avalanche, many find themselves navigating the tricky or sometimes treacherous emotional landscape of family gatherings. Fear not, dear reader, for psychoanalytic psychotherapy could offer a guiding star, a beacon of hope to lead … [Read more...]
How do you get self-esteem?
Self-esteem is often spoken about and seen as something that we should be aspiring towards. However, what is less clear is exactly what constitutes ‘self-esteem’ and how we can best define this concept.What is self-esteem?Well, according to Jordan Peterson it simply does not exist. However, … [Read more...]
The psychology of cults: part one – what defines a cult?
I have previously written about the psychological impact on children who grow up in cults. But what is the definition of a cult?I’m going to share with you how some academics in this field describe a cult - there are five key attributes that can help us with this explanation. Let's go through … [Read more...]
What is the role of creativity in psychotherapy?
In this article, I discuss creativity as foundational to being human, how it enables an emotionally and psychologically fulfilling life, and its relationship with psychotherapy.Everyday creativityWhen we think of creativity we tend to think of world-renowned artists such as Leonardo da … [Read more...]
To be creative as an adult
To some, the suggestion of being creative conjures exciting ideas of creating art, music and stories. To others it invokes a sense of dread, with a belief that creativity must be accompanied by a special talent, accomplishment and validation from others. This could be from negative experiences of … [Read more...]
In support of vulnerability
What does vulnerability mean to you? Is it part of being human, something to acknowledge and embrace, or do you find ourselves shying away from it?Vulnerability is part of what connects us to others. By being open, revealing something of ourselves and seeing that in others, we build connections. … [Read more...]
Learning to embrace uncomfortable emotions
Is there an expectation that we will not have uncomfortable emotions?To have different emotions is to be human. Life is about feeling emotions. We notice our emotions and label them. Emotion is normal, we have to feel it to get past it.How we look at things and process information is based … [Read more...]
Trauma and the use of pornography
I explored the use of pornography and its presence in society in previous blog. In thinking about pornography, there is the question of why some people might become habitual users. What part might childhood trauma play in the development of compulsive use of pornography?Trauma, attachment and … [Read more...]
Parents – the ghosts and angels of our past
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you.These lines open Philip Larkin’s best-known poem, ‘This Be The Verse’. I still remember our English teacher reading it aloud to … [Read more...]
What is transference and why is it important?
Transference is a complicated process and concept. This article attempts to describe it in simple terms, focussing on a basic understanding and highlighting why it is felt to be so important in analytic psychotherapies. I will end by thinking about how it can emerge and be used in both individual … [Read more...]
Therapy and art… an intersection
Poets and artists have an uncanny knack for connecting our hearts and minds. In many ways this is also the project of psychotherapy; in any application of the underlying science it too becomes an art. Rarely do people enter therapy in search of theories, rather they want their experience, often … [Read more...]
